Photo-Apomotia: The cut. Photos: Carol Lee
When I grew up in South Korea in the 2000s, my mother always hints that double eye surgery-a type of blepharoplasty that surgically creates an aspect of the eyelids-was a choice for me. He would look at me, play with my one -way elements and would be like, It would look so cute. It would look much better.
It wasn’t a really serious discussion until the end of the Gymnasium, when he said, “I think you really have to do it, I think it will help you in the future.” The pattern of beauty instilled by actors and k-pop idols at the time they took a perfect face, which had a fine jaw V, pale skin, reddish cheeks and big eyes.
Photo: Ins Bu’s kind bid
When I was a teenager, my monolies did not affect my confidence. I just liked to do bold makeup. I never asked her, but on the back, I think my mother looked at my makeup as a sign that I was insecure and wanted to help me overcome the “subject”. Never approached it as, Oh my God, you are so ugly – you need surgery. Were more, I feel you don’t like the way you look and spend so much time by doing your makeup in front of the mirror at a time when you don’t have to do that. So why don’t I make it easier for your life? As I understand, he was trying to look at me.
My mother naturally has double eyelids. She was an actress and entertainer, so she spent her life surrounded by people who were so beautiful – and open to cosmetic procedures to achieve the “perfect appearance”. In South Korea, it was normal. I don’t know if my mother had done a surgical job – I never asked her when I was younger. Now, I think it is up to the person to share as much as they want, including my mother. I could ask her completely, but I’m not really curious.
All of these young trainees and K-pop idols did processes. It didn’t look like a big deal in my mother, and my father trusted her about how I presented myself and anything cosmetic. He was so busy working and he didn’t know better. It was like, “Okay, anything else. If I need it, I’ll pay it.”
Photo: Ins Bu’s kind bid
My blepharoplasty happened very quickly. I came home to Korea from my high school in Massachusetts after my graduation, and my mother told me she had made an appointment of consultation. He knew many surgeons, and because he was in the entertainment industry, he had plenty of Intel about which doctor was the best of the best.
When we went, it was only the doctor and I in the room. Asked, “Do you know what you want?” I told him, “No, I thought your mom told you.”
Normally, from what I understand, plastic surgeons give you options such as, “Do you want a little difference, or want to have a deep, dark aspect?” They didn’t walk me through it. I asked the doctor if I could broaden my eyes a little. He said he won’t be “worth it at all”. Instead, he said: “We will just do the whole thing. We want to cut the front of your eyes, the back of your eyes, the side of your eyes, up and down.” He told us they could do it the same day. My mother approved, so I went with her and took the double eye surgery. I never had the opportunity to sit down and think about it, and I didn’t have much in the end result. I have a lot of friends on the same boat, where their mothers told them, “It would look better, let’s do that.” It’s so fast. They are in and out in two hours, maybe. It doesn’t feel like a big deal until later.
Photo: Ins Bu’s kind bid
The recovery was not very bad. I was super-swollen and bruises, but I was fresh from high school, and I wanted to get a party with my friends. I started to appear with stitches in my eyes and everything. I just endured the pain.
For a long time after the process, I was really happy with it. I felt that my makeup was easier. Growing up, one of my good friends had naturally double eyelids and none of our other friends did. When she did her eyeliner, she would always talk about how easy it was to take lessons from YouTubers who were primarily white. We didn’t see many Asian makeup-K-pop was not as big as it is now. We will be all like, Damn, I’m so jealous. After surgery, I looked like a lot of people I saw and liked this feeling. When I met new friends, I lied about my double eyelids, saying, “That’s how I was born.” Just before college, I went to my facebook and didn’t see myself in every picture because I was afraid that people would judge me for surgery.
Meta-female
Photo: Ins Bu’s kind bid
I went to a mainly white high school. I was one of the ten Asians in my class. In a way, surgery made me feel that there were more opportunities to connect with whites and culture. I was in refusal for my own identity. Throughout the college, a part of me was like, I am detached from my cultural roots. I came to the NYU and entered the Korean students’ Union, and this introduced me to a full circle of Asian and Asian American friends with whom they are related. I was like, I have to start appreciating who I am culturally. I began to look back on my photos, thinking, Is there a way to reverse this? I like how I looked at then.
I have dated my friend for four years. At some point, I came clean to him, and I was like, “hey, by the way, my eyes are over.” Sometimes we look back on photos of my childhood, and it will be like, “Oh, you were so cute.” These are the moments where I am, Shit. Was it wrong? Sometimes people are like, I want great tits. Now, not having boobs is more modern. I wondered: are the monolies something that comes and go too? Everyone was obsessed with having double eyelids and now people are embracing their characteristics.
Photo: Ins Bu’s kind bid
I haven’t told my mother how I feel. I would never be, Oh, my God. I hate it made me do that. It’s like, what can we do about it anyway? Not long ago, he asked if I would ever want to overthrow the process. Now, he always says, “Oh, you were so cute then [before the procedure]. “I had no idea to go back to how my lashes were still strong.
None of them made me feel any kind of anger or contempt for my mother. Funny together. He will say, “Do you remember when you put so many eyeliners so that your eyes look bigger?” It has not negatively affected our relationship.
Taking my lashes made me more comfortable telling her about other things I want to do instead of hiding them from it – even getting a tattoo or a roofing lips or botox. I can say for sure, if I change my appearance in the future, I will tell her and accept her thoughts and comments. It has opened an avenue to have discussions on how I feel about myself. I have told her I want a nose job and said, “I will find you the best place to do it when you come back.” The positive side of my eyelid surgery is that I feel lucky enough to have a relationship with my mother where I can be so honest about how I feel.
On 25, I feel like I accept more towards how I was born. I wish I was waiting until I was older, so I knew more how to grow up on my face. If there were no implications in the way we would approach new people and how I would reappear in my current circle, perhaps once under the road, I would reverse it.
See all
