Lately, I’ve been feeling strangely nostalgic for the days when I used to get compliments on my teeth. Relatively white and straight, it was one of the few physical features I felt terribly smug about.
Obviously, I had my grandmother to thank for that.
“Then you go after her,” my mother would say. (Given that my grandmother had been through five husbands, this came as a somewhat disturbing revelation.)
I took this genetic windfall as reassurance that my teeth were the gift that would keep on giving. I may not have inherited dad’s legs or mom’s skin, but at least I had grandma’s teeth.
What my mom failed to clarify was that inheriting good teeth comes with terms and conditions. Somewhere in tiny font it says: “Warning! It probably decreases with age.”
And sure enough, once I hit 50, I realized that if my teeth were a person, you’d think, “Blimey, they look like they need a vacation.”
As we age, tooth enamel wears away to reveal dentin, which has a more yellow hue. Add in decades of staining foods like coffee and wine, and it’s no wonder teeth look darker.
The most effective whitening comes through professional dentistry, but with an average cost of £350 for an in-clinic treatment, I needed some more affordable solutions.
The UK has strict limits on hydrogen peroxide levels in oral products – dentists can use up to 6% while home versions only 0.1% – so we’re not talking Love Island contestant results.
But if you’re looking for a little sparkle, these gems will have you smiling in no time…
Our top five picks for teeth whitening
1. Pearl Drops Strong Polished Daily Whitening Toothpaste
Pearl Drops toothpaste is older than me, but like Mick Jagger, this stunner continues to put on a solid performance.
Pearl Drops Strong Polished Daily Whitening Toothpaste (Boots, £7) can make teeth up to four shades whiter in just 21 days, and they really brighten up my teeth.
Formulated with perlite, a dental agent that removes surface stains while smoothing and polishing, it also helps strengthen your precious enamel.
2. Marvis Whitening Mint Toothpaste
Italian brand Marvis has gained a cult following for its stylish, scented toothpastes, but who knew it also did whitening? Unusually for a whitening paste, Marvis Whitening Mint Toothpaste (Amazon, £8.69) is wonderfully creamy rather than crumbly.
Its cocktail of ingredients actually works against discoloration, leaving teeth noticeably whiter after ten days. I came for the great taste. I stayed for the Insta-worthy smile.
3. The Polished London Teeth Whitening Pen
If you want to refresh your smile on the go, The Polished London Teeth Whitening Pen (Polished London £16.99) is the boss. Just paint on the gel while it does its thing.
The stain-busting formula is peroxide-free, so super gentle on teeth, but really packs a punch on the whitening front. My teeth were a few shades more porcelain after one treatment.
4. Colgate Max White Ultimate LED Whitening Kit
If you want to bring in the big guns, it’s time to invest in an at-home LED whitening kit (here’s the science part – blue light speeds up stain removal).
Colgate Max White Ultimate LED whitening kit (Amazon, £50) is the real deal, helping to remove shocking 20-year-old stains.
Apply the serum, connect the LED gum protection app to your phone and say hello to a Hollywood smile. Expensive but worth it.
5. Hey Smile teeth whitening strips
If technology isn’t your thing, you can’t beat a good old whitening strip for convenience and speed. Hey Smile teeth whitening strips (Hey Smile Teeth, £19.99) use non-invasive whitening ingredients, making them ideal for sensitive teeth.
This stuff is effortless to use and super effective – stick the strips on your teeth for 30 minutes, then peel them off to reveal a smile that looks significantly whiter and brighter.
Happy whitening and keep smiling – it always makes people wonder what you’re up to.
