I ran into someone I went to school with a few weeks ago and after a quick fling we both said something along the lines of ‘you haven’t changed a bit’. I then joked, “well, that’s why we pay the beautician, right?” She looked shocked. Well, not exactly shocked because her eyebrows didn’t move, but as shocked as one can look when the upper half of their face is paralyzed.
“You’ve never had botox?” I asked suspiciously. Maybe that was too personal, but I couldn’t help it. I was looking at the flawless forehead of a 42-year-old woman who had clearly had botox. Flustered, she swore she hadn’t. She just had a good grooming routine and drank a lot of water. I tried to raise my eyebrow at her, but she wouldn’t admit it. I realized I was on dangerous ground so we said our goodbyes and I left feeling a little guilty for putting her on the spot like that.
I have a habit of sharing too much personal information. If you’ve read my other columns, you may have come to a similar conclusion. So I accept that not everyone is as open about personal things as I am, but I’m always really confused by the culture of silence and shame that still exists around cosmetic surgery and “adjustments”: Botox, fillers, microneedling, fat transfer – the list goes on. Why would anyone feel embarrassed about what they’ve done to look as good as he does?
There seems to be an untold sliding scale of beauty treatments that people will accept. Make-up, fake tan and hair dye are all fair – very few people lie about them. But that’s changing as we start to move on to more permanent or semi-permanent treatments, whitening your teeth or eyebrow microblading (tattooing, for those who don’t know). In my experience, people are reasonably happy to understand them, but there can be a bit of hesitation.
When we get into botox, fillers and hair transplants, suddenly everyone becomes a natural beauty. Nobody’s talking anymore, except for a few brave souls who clearly didn’t get the memo about keeping schtum. All this before we get to the proper surgeries: nose jobs, tummy tucks, facelifts, breast augmentations. I have a friend who won’t tell her husband she’s getting botox! Where he thinks his wife’s money and smiles are going is beyond me.
Why all the secrecy and shame? For better or worse, we live in a society that values ​​appearance. Sure, we don’t need to make it worse by pretending we haven’t had a little help here and there. I’ve had botox on my forehead and around my eyes. I’ve had fillers to get rid of dark circles under my eyes and earlier this year, I had an upper blepharoplasty because I didn’t like the fact that my lids had drooped to the point where I couldn’t wing liner anymore. Am I supposed to pretend that I haven’t done any of these things and that my wrinkle-free face is a good soap?
It’s not just my school friend who’s in the makeup closet. I’ve lost count of how many celebrities have vehemently denied doing anything, only to later admit they didn’t. Remember when we all thought you could get lips like Kylie Jenner by using her brand of lipliner? Of course it was filler. Or when Victoria Beckham opened up about her unusually perky breasts, after years of denying she had surgery? No one thought these things were homemade.
I suspect the reason people deny they’ve had anything done is because admitting it can reveal a preoccupation with their appearance, which then looks vulnerable. No one wants to be accused of being vain, but I don’t see investing in your appearance as vanity, so much as pride. I want to look good! What’s wrong with that?
Maybe there’s also a sense of shame about not being 100 percent “natural,” but who is? Which celebrity walks the red carpet looking exactly like she did when she rolled out of bed? Don’t we all try to look our best? For some, that means taking a shower and popping a mint. For others like me, it’s a little more elaborate, and I’m not ashamed of that.
Some people love nothing more than to judge someone who has done something. There are so many beauticians on social media that all they do is zoom in on celebrities’ faces and bodies and confidently declare the work they’ve done. That always seemed a little dumb to me. Of course the movie stars had work to do! I just take it for granted. These people are under enormous pressure to look incredible and have enough money and resources to do so. Why should they be ashamed? I wish they were a little more honest about it. How many celebrity diets, makeup lines, skin care routines, and fitness products are whipped up to the masses, with no disclaimer to let you know that the person who endorsed it didn’t look like this without a lot of help?
I have a lot of respect for those who don’t pretend. No, you won’t get a bottom like Cardi B just by doing squats, and you’ll never get breasts like Kaley Cuoco using a skin tightening cream. Thank you for your honesty, ladies! Now, kindly reveal the name of your surgeon.
I feel no shame at all for the work I had done. Looking my best boosts my confidence. I really enjoy doing the treatments, which I admit sounds weird when we’re talking about an injection in the face. I like to go to the clinic and have a cup of tea and a nice biscuit while I wait. I like to be fussed over. I love talking about all the new treatments coming out and what I can try next. But mostly I like the results. I don’t see why I should keep them a secret. That’s the bond, isn’t it? We’re supposed to age, but we don’t actually look older, a feat that can only be achieved with an adjustment or two, but you should never admit it.
I say enough is enough. I think we should be as open and proud of the work we’ve done as we are of where we got an outfit from or how we styled our hair. I’ll do more work in the future if I like it and I’m sure I’ll tell everyone too. I don’t think a breast job is right for me, but I can definitely see myself getting a facelift or liposuction down low.
Maybe I’m a complete stranger to my high school girlfriend and she’s never really had any work. Maybe her soft forehead and plump lips are all down to the good genes and she gets a solid eight hours of sleep a night. But I doubt it.
Of course, no one has to reveal personal medical information if they don’t want to, but imagine a world where no one felt the need to lie about it. Wouldn’t that be a more positive world? One where young women don’t make fun of their looks because they don’t know the celebrities they idolize have had surgery.
I don’t think that will ever happen, but I’m not going to lie about what work I’ve done just to save face.
