With worry causing travel and a barely existent social life, of Kirsty Bladder problems with multiple sclerosis had begun to take over. Here, she takes us inside Botox journey to independence.
For as long as I can remember, I have always had bladder problems due to a spinal cord injury at birth.
Well, I was always on medication. Fast forward to 2016 when I was first diagnosed with MS and things got worse. Much worse…
The tablets I was taking stopped working and I started to notice my bladder getting angrier and angrier.
Cue needs to go to the bathroom even more often, going from zero to poop in seconds and just in time.
I was then put on Mirabegron and Solifenacin which seemed to calm the symptoms.
A few years later, I started having a lot of accidents. This caused intense bouts of anxiety, especially when I was out.
I was referred to an incontinence group who advised me to tape pads to my underwear, however they did not provide enough protection.
I often had to change clothes. Anyone with mobility issues knows that this is a difficult task in itself, right?
My bladder ruled my life.
I used to plan days around toilet locations.
Additionally, I was only comfortable dating people who understood what was going on, which only added to the isolation.
I decided I needed to do something to reduce my anxiety, so I found some “bladder pants”, which I call them to make them feel less childish. Their official name is “incontinence underwear”. They hold up in most of my accidents.
Next, I invested in some washable bed cushions to sit on. They are amazing! I would even take them out with me to lie on top of chairs. They also offered some job security.
But, it was still mentally draining to have accidents.
So when a mostly remote job came up at my company, I jumped at the chance!
At my next appointment, my urologist suggested we try botox injections in my bladder.
They said I should be able to self-catheterize as my bladder can hold urine. I was shown how to do this by a lovely nurse but I couldn’t do it. I was worried that this might mean I couldn’t start the botox!
They agreed, however, that the positives of Botox outweighed the negatives. The day came for my injections and I was so nervous!
It really wasn’t that bad and I didn’t need any pain medication. My feet weren’t very happy though. With each injection came a sudden spasm!
They only gave me half the “normal” dose to reduce the risk of urinary retention. I quickly noticed a difference.
I didn’t get that “explosive” feeling and I visited the toilet less often.
Three weeks later, I went for a bladder check with a different team. Unfortunately my bladder was not emptying and I had over 600ml. The strangest thing was that I didn’t even need the toilet!
They decided to insert a catheter, which I had for about a month. For me it was uncomfortable and painful.
Feeling defeated, I arrived for an appointment with the team doing the initial round of Botox injections. They took the catheter straight out as they said it wasn’t needed.
The Botox team advised me to go to the bathroom every three to four hours. I never thought I would have to remind myself to go to the bathroom!
As a result of the treatment, my bladder is much better! I can take long car trips and drink as much as I want.
Gone are the worries of needing the toilet five times an hour.
Plus, I don’t have as many accidents anymore. I think I’ve had about two in the last four months, instead of accidents most days!
For me, Botox was life changing. Now I sleep more as I don’t wake up as often at night.
For the first time in my life, my bladder doesn’t rule me.
My husband, family and friends have been so supportive and I am now much more open with people about my bladder issues. None of these things are my fault and I shouldn’t be ashamed of them or afraid to ask for help.
We all have this – we can do it!
